Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Oh, Such Pretty Jeans

Whenever my sister-in-law cleans out her closet, I often receive a bag of clothes to rummage through to see if I want anything before they end up in a clothing donation bin. She has some really nice clothes and I'm not too proud to accept the kind donation. There are often things that just aren't my style but I have gotten some nice things from her.

Recently, Lauren returned home from visiting her aunt with a bag of clothes for me. These jeans were in the bag. I'm not quite sure what the story is behind them. I wondered if she had come across some of her old clothes from the 80's or something. If only I still had my Ropers I could wear them with the ones that look like chaps to the Rodeo, and the baseball ones would show my team spirit at an Astros game. Ha! Needless to say the jeans eventually made their way to Goodwill. It's hard for me to imagine my sister-in-law actually wearing them. I'm tempted to ask her if she ever actually wore them in public but don't want her to cut me off of the hand-me-down recipient list.

Seeing these jeans reminded me of a joke I once played on my friend, Vicki, when I visited her in Michigan a few years ago. Someone near and dear to me (no names mentioned) bought me a sweatshirt for Christmas that year. It was a nice sweatshirt (for an eighty-year-old grandmother) but it was so not for me. It was navy blue with three big, brightly decorated Christmas trees across the front. It had a high collar, was somewhat gawdy and very grandmotherly looking. A pair of blinking Rudolph earrings would've been a great way to further accent the flashiness of the shirt. I know, I know, it's the thought that counts, but really, she shouldn’t have! It was definitely a white elephant kind of gift that was sure to find itself in my next garage sale. I believe it came from the Dollar Store. Hey, I love the Dollar Store and all, I'm just saying........

So, as I was packing for my trip to Michigan I decided to pack the sweatshirt that still had the tags attached and give it to Vicki as a "gift". After I got there and settled in, I took it out of my suitcase. I took a good look at it before folding it back up and preparing to give it to her with a straight face. I went to her room and told her that I had brought her something. I handed it to her and she slowly unfolded it. I was totally expecting her to put on an academy award winning performance, you know, trying to act all grateful and pleased with my generosity (kind of like I did when I got it). I was actually surprised when she immediately burst into laughter. She never even hesitated before cracking up. I didn’t even get a forced or obligatory thank you. I kept asking her, “But, what if it hadn’t been a joke? What if I had been serious? Wouldn’t you feel bad?” She kept saying there was no question in her mind as soon as she saw it. I told you it was gawdy.

In the end I think the shirt eventually made its way back to Texas and was re-gifted to someone in her family as a joke. Who knows where it is now. I hope it finally found an appreciative owner in a retirement home somewhere.

My BFF's

Teresa (Teedee)is in town from Atlanta so we had a little reunion last night. Me, Teedee and Carla met for dinner and had a blast. Is it possible to laugh yourself sick? My side still hurts from all the laughter. I just wish we could've had a slumber party and pulled an "all nighter" because three hours was just not enough time, but missing work today was not an option for me or Carla. Besides, Teresa had to get back to her mom's and her new baby girl. (She's lactating!)

We always pick right back up where we left off, without missing a beat. We have so much history and awesome memories of growing up together. I love these girls. We're planning a trip in November 2009 for our 40th birthdays. We just haven't decided where we're going yet, but it doesn't matter. We could have fun together in a brown paper sack.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Monsters Among Us

An old friend called me last night to tell me that another old friend had been fatally wounded in an attempted car jacking on Wednesday. I had heard about it on the news for the past several days and even read the news article online, but didn’t recognize the name because they were using her married name.

I haven’t seen her in over twenty years, but it still broke my heart when I heard it was Tina. We grew up together attending the same church and schools. She was such a nice person with the biggest brown eyes and great big smile.

I can only imagine how terrified she was, fighting to keep them from driving off with her baby in the car. I'm sure she would've gladly given up those keys without a fight if she'd been alone that day. It makes me so sad to think that this is how her life ended. This was so senseless.

This is just another reason why I believe in the death penalty. It makes it even worse that the two suspects were illegal aliens. According to news reports, they had been on a crime spree around the city (some of which is caught on video, along with the attack on Tina) and were already driving a stolen car when they attempted to take hers. I hope they catch the POS killer before he makes it back to Mexico, where they will protect him. This is Texas, where we believe in and practice an eye for an eye.

RIP, Tina.

Local News Story

One Suspect in Custody


Escoto was arrested in September for trespassing and served 75 days in jail.

Rios was charged with possession of marijuana in May 2007 and served 10 days in jail. In June 2007 he was charged with criminal mischief and failure to identify himself to a police officer and served 30 days in jail.

It's hard to swallow the fact that no one (ummm, like the INS authorities) bothered to send these two back to Mexico when they were arrested back in 2007. From what I hear, that seems to be pretty standard practice, unless they're charged with a felony. So, they served their jail time last year and were allowed to stick around here and take an innocent life. It's hard to comprehend an illegal alien being released from jail, free and clear to continue breaking our laws. I just can't believe they were both in jail last year and allowed to walk right back out onto our streets. All because they hadn't yet committed a "felony", so we just allow them to stay until they do.

The following is a quote from an officer regarding the driver of the car.

"Escoto may also be charged with murder, under Texas' "law of parties," which makes a getaway driver "just as guilty" as the murderer."

That is good to know.

Friday, April 11, 2008

The Poor Lip

I was in Burke's when the nurse called to inform me that Caden had been hit in the lip with a plastic bat during P.E. The bleeding had stopped but he had a headache and stomach ache and she thought he needed to come home. According to the nurse, the swelling has gone down some.

I got him a slush at Sonic on the way home and gave him some Ibuprofen for the pain. It's throbbing and he's not a happy camper. I'm not good at dealing with injuries. I'm glad the bleeding stopped before I got to him.

He wanted me to tell his dad that he got into a fight but it was too late. I had already spilled the beans on the way to the school.

The nurse wasn't sure about stitches. The gash is pretty deep but I would think as long as the bleeding has stopped, he shouldn't need them. I think I will wait for his dad to come home for lunch to get a second opinion on whether this warrants a trip to the doctor. At this point, I think it's just a nasty busted lip that needs an ice pack.

This brings back the memory of me walking right into the path of my sister swinging a bat when I was five-years-old. I had a gaping hole in my lip that would not stop gushing blood. I remember my mom holding cup towels over my face all the way to the E.R. I ended up with stitches and a nice scar. My sister was more traumatized than I was and still feels guilty about it to this day.

Mandy the Mannequin

My boss brought Mandy to work two weeks ago and I'm still not used to her being there. Every time I open the office door I jump because she is the first thing I see sitting there on the couch. When I am at my desk her head is turned directly towards me. It's kind of creepy.

I asked him if he strapped her into his passenger seat and buckled her in. He said no, he just threw her across the backseat. We joked about how he could've used the HOV lane if he had thought about it.

He brought her to use in our display window. He would like to arrange her in a chair sitting among a bunch of empty beer bottles with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth and some kind of anti-drug message to the kids.

Did I mention how creepy it is to have her staring at the back of my head all day?

By the way, she is wearing a pair of $400 shoes. Her original owner was somewhat wealthy and dressed her well. He used her to sit in front of a TV by a window in his house so it would appear someone was home when he was traveling. Personally, I prefer my two watch dogs.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

April Fools Part II

Please first read the previous entry (below), as they go together.

We had an eventful evening at our house tonight. I took Cassidy to the ballpark then came back home. Les and Caden were watching a movie. Caden was sick with a monstrous stomach virus last week that really kicked his butt (literally), and he missed five days of school. He has tons of make up work to do. I had gotten some of his schoolwork on Thursday so he could get a head start on it over the weekend, but he still has some left to do. As soon I saw him in front of the TV I asked him if he had done his homework and he assured me that he had. So, we watched the movie.

After dinner and the movie I told him to start getting ready for bed. He did. Then he came back into the living room in a typical Caden total panic mode whining about how he still had eight pages of homework left to do. In an instant I was almost shaking and about to blow a gasket, which is not uncommon for me over things such as this. I had flat out asked him about the homework and he said he was done. I was pissed, really pissed and was about to start a ten minute ranting and raving session when he said, “April Fools”! He, like his sister, was very convincing. Once my blood pressure finally got back to normal I was able to laugh and tell him that he’d gotten me good.

When I picked Cassidy back up from the ballpark I told her about Caden’s prank and she thought it was funny. She told me that she had also tricked her entire tennis team into thinking they had to run laps because someone did something to get them in trouble and they all believed her. I was pretty impressed, but little did I know the best was yet to come.

She told me she had a really good prank to play on me but now that Caden had just gotten me she didn’t think I would believe her. I had to coax her into finally telling me what she had planned to do. OMG, it was a good one, too. So, she and I decided that we would play it on her dad instead. I knew he would never ever suspect that it was an April Fools joke. It was that good.

We got home and she fed the dogs and swept the kitchen. I kept waiting on her to move forward with the plan we had come up with in the car but she kept stalling. I went into the garage to do some laundry and she followed me out there. She told me she wasn’t sure she could do it without laughing and that she was scared. I didn’t blame her. As we started talking about it we both started laughing hard and I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to keep a straight face either. Finally, I just went for it, knowing I had to keep it together. He was on the couch watching TV and it was getting late. It was now or never. So, I opened the door but she didn’t follow me in. I walked over to him and dropped a piece of paper down in his lap and said something like you’re never going to believe this. Then I started walking around the living room mumbling that I couldn’t freaking believe this and acting like I was ready to kill Cassidy while he read the paper. I walked back to the garage and said, “You better get your butt in here”. He was now sitting there and had a completely shocked and pissed off look on his face. She sat down in the chair and I sat down on the other couch. We both kept putting our hands over our eyes and faces looking down to keep from laughing. She had to act scared and I had to act mad. I asked her what she was thinking doing something like that and he asked her to explain exactly what had happened.

Okay, now I finally have to tell you what was on the paper. It was a real detention slip from her school signed by her teacher. It was official and it said that she had received detention for flipping off another student and yelling across the room. So, by now Les is pretty angry but he is so stunned I don’t think he knew exactly how to react. She has NEVER been in any trouble since she started school. NEVER. So, he tells her to explain to him exactly what happened. She tells him that they were having a big political debate and that this one kid was saying that he didn’t believe in God and that it just made her really angry. She said I’m sorry, I just got so mad. I made some comments like, “So what, that doesn’t give you the right to shoot the finger at him”. She would hang her head in shame and apologize and say she knows but she was just so mad. Let me add that Lauren heard the commotion so she came out of her room and was already aware that this was a joke. What she was not aware of was that I now knew. She still thought the original plan was in action. She was in the kitchen and said she had to get down on the floor and bury her face in her shirt to keep from laughing out loud.

Les got up and started pacing the living room floor and telling Cassidy that she had made all of us look bad by what she had done. He was going on about how Lauren works at her school, I also work at her school, that Caden will be going there next year, that he is a police officer and he doesn’t want people to associate our name with bad things like what she had done. The whole thing went on for several minutes and it took everything I had to keep from busting a gut. Every time I looked at Cassidy I could see the corners of her mouth curling up and how hard she was fighting a big grin, but we were both hanging in there. Right after he finished his speech about our family name and reputation we looked at each other and could no longer contain our laughter. We both just cracked up and Les was absolutely blown away once he realized it was an April Fools joke.

He literally bent over and slapped his forehead and was speechless. He just kept shaking his head but didn’t know what to say. Lauren came running out of the kitchen totally cracking up. Caden came running out of his room to see what all the commotion was about. OMG, it was priceless. Once he got over the fact that we got him, he said he couldn’t believe we hadn’t video taped it. I so wish we had. Cassidy kept high-fiving me and telling me what a good job I had done. Lauren couldn’t believe that I knew ahead of time. She thought I was really mad, too. Maybe I’ve actually got some acting ability, too.

I still can’t quit laughing every time I think about it. I’ll never forget his face when he realized it was a joke. This was a classic. Can you believe her teacher was cool enough to write that out for her making it so “official”? We will be laughing about this for a long time.

We have decided that Cassidy will be on lock-down next April 1st! We might have to chain her to her bed and muzzle her but she just can’t be trusted to leave this house or talk to anyone.

Check out the official detention slip. Bahahahaha!!!

April Fools

I worked at the junior high today and ran into one of Cassidy’s tennis coaches. She stopped me and said, “Your daughter was bad, bad, bad this morning”. I couldn’t believe my ears. Cassidy might not be perfect at home, but we've never heard a negative word about her from one single teacher since she started school. As a matter of fact, they usually rave about her being a great student and often compliment her excellent behavior. I always wonder if they're talking about the same kid. Ha! So, needless to say, I was stunned and not sure what she could've possibly done.

She proceeded to tell me that Cassidy came to school this morning with her arm wrapped in an ace bandage and informed her two tennis coaches that she had been injured playing football yesterday. She told them she wasn’t going to be able to play for the remainder of the season. The coach said she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She was very upset because she had just gotten all of the tennis teams matched up with their partners (after stressing over it) and that her being injured would mess her plan all up. Cassidy eventually unwrapped her bandage and they realized it was a big joke. I was told that she put on a very, very convincing performance. That's my girl!

By the way, I found our first aid basket on her bedroom floor where she left it after rummaging through it for her props.

She hasn’t gotten home yet from school. I sure would love to pull a good one on her and am racking my brain. Hmmm....maybe I’ll tell her I’m pregnant.

Edited to add: I just heard Cassidy's version of the story.
She had it all planned out and apparently put a lot of thought into it yesterday. I usually drive her every morning but her dad took her today. Otherwise, I would've been in on this little prank ahead of time. So, she wrapped her arm before she left and went to athletics before school. She told her coaches that she had sprained her arm playing football. They wanted to know if she had gone to the doctor and what he had said. She said yes and that it was a sprain and that she couldn't play for three weeks. Her tennis partner got very upset because now she wouldn't have a partner and she didn't want to play singles. Cassidy had them all going and waited a few minutes before she unwrapped her bandage. Then she slowly waved her arm back and forth in the air at them and started laughing. They couldn't believe how well she had fooled them. I might have her take up acting.