Wednesday, July 26, 2006

I'm tickled pink over some local news that my two favorite dj's have returned to the airwaves. I was crushed when their previous station up and cancelled their show with no explanation. I was driving into work one morning when the Roula & Ryan show wasn't on as usual and they just kept repeating the traffic and news. I kept waiting for some reason as to why the show wasn't on when they finally played a commercial advertising the new upcoming morning show with Sam Malone and I was stunned. There was no explanation or any mention of them whatsoever. The website had all of the new morning show information and not even a whisper of Roula & Ryan and that made me even madder. It was like they'd just vanished and I never got any closure! I even wrote this really long letter to 96.5 chastising them for their stupid move. I had problems sending it through their email system and can't say if it ever reached them as I never got a reply, but I did try, and it was a pretty good letter if I do say so myself. I asked them why they would fix something that wasn’t broken and told them that if I were a radio station manager in the Houston area I'd be on the horn making them an offer that very day and that I thought they'd made a huge mistake. The music was okay but it was Roula, Ryan & producer Eric that kept me tuned in every morning. They were really funny. That was at least eight months ago and I've yet to find another morning show that I like. I’m totally psyched over their return. I lived for the two days a week when they featured my favorite segments.

Thursday mornings at 7am was “War of the Roses” where you could call or email the show if you suspected your spouse or significant other of cheating. They'd start off with a brief history of the relationship and why the caller suspected they were being cheated on. The jest of it was that Roula would pose as a telemarketer and call the suspected cheater saying they'd been chosen to receive a dozen red roses to be sent anywhere in the US for free within 24 hours, and once she could convince the caller into accepting them, she’d have them give her the recipient’s name and a personal greeting for the card. Nine times out of ten, the card would be for someone other than their spouse/significant other. Then Ryan would come on the line identifying himself before informing them of the real reason for the call and that their spouse/significant other was also on the line listening in. They were almost always shocked, speechless and stuttering with priceless responses. Then would come the confrontation between the two and almost always a denial. After listening to this for over a year, I’d heard a variety of endings from good to bad.

For example, the caller who discovered that his spouse had cheated with his step-dad, the mother-in-law who busted her daughter-in-law cheating with her husband’s best friend while her husband was away in Iraq, the girlfriend who wondered why her boyfriend of 10 months had such a sparsely decorated apartment and only wanted to hang out at his place discovered that he was actually married, the pilot who sent his roses to a flight attendant with the card that read, “Please return your chair to the upright position”, the husband whose wife was cheating with another woman, the gay couple where one was seeing his ex-girlfriend and used the excuse that he was just trying to persuade her to have a baby for the two of them, and the guy who caught his wife and best friend after he had them call the best friend to offer him the roses. I even remember one guy listening to Roula's spill before saying, “I know exactly who this is, Roula” and not falling for it. Don’t ask me why anyone would want to air their dirty laundry for the whole city of Houston but I’m glad they do.

Friday mornings was “Forgive or Forget” where someone called in wanting to apologize to someone for something they’d done and Roula would call this person and tell them that she had so and so on the line and that they wanted to apologize for whatever had happened. Then the recipient of the call was given an opportunity to respond and decide if the relationship was worth saving and if they wanted to forgive them or forget them. I recall one in particular that still makes me laugh. A guy called in wanting to apologize to his best friend’s wife for a practical joke gone badly. After hearing her side of the story it was apparent that he was notorious for his pranks over the years but that his latest had really taken the cake. She had a casserole baking one Sunday afternoon while her husband and his friends were watching football. He snuck into the kitchen and added pieces of Purina Dog Chow deep into the dish so as not to be apparent to the naked eye. When she got on the line she ripped him apart and said the worst part of his joke was that she’d taken the casserole dish to her aunt’s home to be eaten by her family after the funeral of her uncle, and that her entire family had been eating the casserole before someone discovered the chunks of dog food and throwing up and that she’d have to seriously consider forgiving him.

Ironically, they went to the station where their replacement came from and I predict that 96.5 will soon regret their decision to ever let them go. According to the website at 104 KRBE, they will be featuring “War of the Roses” tomorrow morning at 7am and I can’t wait!! Okay, I admit that it’s a morbid concept and sort of like watching a train wreck, but it makes for very interesting water cooler discussions.

Friday, July 07, 2006

We spent last weekend at the lake house with all of my husband’s family. With the 4th being on Tuesday, it really messed up the long weekend for me. I had to come back home to work a half day on Monday, while most everyone else was off. My husband and the 2 younger kids opted to stay through Tuesday and catch a ride home with some cousins. The 4th is a huge family event at the lake every year. We stay at the house but loads of cousins and friends camp at the lake. There are rows of travel trailers lined up around this big covered pavilion, BBQ pits smoking 24/7, volleyball being played & kids of all ages running around everywhere. Much time is spent in the water either lounging on a float or riding in one of the boats or jet skis. This year we had a lot of rain. It was still fun, but not nearly as fun as it is when it’s hot and sunny.

So, Monday morning I mentioned the weekend at the lake, driving home through awful storms and that husband and kids had stayed longer to my boss, to which he replied, "Did you come home just to work half a day?" and then he looked at me like I was crazy. Well, had I known he felt that way I would’ve gladly stayed through Tuesday. Silly me!

I still managed to salvage and enjoy my Monday evening. My twin friends and I went to have Mexican food and margaritas. It’s been a while since we’ve done anything together without the kids and ironically, we were all flying solo that night. All husband’s and kids were elsewhere enjoying the 4th or working. So we got together.

After filling up on chips, green sauce and a few Margaritas we decided to go back to Kelli's to watch the Astros. As usual, we had many good laughs that night. I'm sharing two of the highlights from our evening. Hopefully, they aren’t “guess you had to be there" laughs and you'll get a kick out of them, too.

During one of my restroom breaks I just had to look in the mirror. The Texas humidity had really gotten to my hair so I decided to work on it a little and see if I could get some body back before returning back outside in Kelli's garage where we were watching the game, and where the humidity was again waiting on me and my hair. Yeah, I know, doesn't make much sense! Shelli was sitting on the bed behind me talking on her cell phone and I didn't realize that she was watching me this whole time. I got my hair fluffed and then reached for the hair spray. I started spraying right on top where it was so flat and after a moment recognized an old and very distinct smell, then got this funny taste in my throat. I quickly pulled the spray back then quietly gasped, as in, “oh, no! I did not!”, and then read the can confirm that it was indeed aerosol spray deodorant and not a can of hair spray. It was at this point that I saw Shelli in the mirror behind me just as she fell sideways onto the bed from laughter. Kelli then walked in and Shelli was trying to tell her what I had just done in between her laughter. I was busy looking for big white clumps in my scalp, which luckily I didn't have! All I can say is that my hair stayed fresh and dry for the rest of the night! Now I ask you, who uses spray on deodorant anymore? Well, they both do, but I hadn't used or seen any in years! I didn't even know they still sold it! (ok, half kidding, but only half!)
Note: My little mishap comes no where close to my father in laws from years ago when they still had babies in the house. He went to the bathroom one morning to brush his teeth but instead of grabbing the tube of toothpaste he grabbed a tube of Desitin. You know the magical baby diaper rash ointment that is similar in consistency to Vaseline, except thicker and white! He’d already started to brush before he felt the thick, slimy, nasty tasting muck that now coated his teeth and gums, and took him forever to get off!

Back to my Monday evening with the twins………………After I’d freshened up (literally), we returned to the garage, where Shelli sat in a big chair, all relaxed and reclined watching the game. (Yes, Kelli has a recliner in her garage, but that’s a story for another time!) We had the garage door half way opened to let in a little more of the humid air. Shelli had a glass drink in her hand and all I remember is looking at her start to flail before she literally slammed her glass straight down onto the garage floor and hopped up out of that chair. Before the glass was even finished shattering I was already out on the driveway. You see, I already knew exactly what had caused Shelli to do that flailing jig. It comes from my own years of experience as a lifelong Texas resident doing that same flail! No one is more afraid of cock roaches than I am and Texas is known for all things big, including our cock roaches. I was already on “guard” and had my roach radar on, which is in pristine condition by the way. My radar is always up and running anytime I am outdoors at night in the summer. I don’t even have to remind myself to turn it on. For me it’s as natural as my heartbeat, simply because of my intense fear of cock roaches. Actually, I have enough roach stories to write about for 3 months straight, but I won’t. So, as we all scattered and ran like we were being chased by a three headed monster with a knife, we also laughed really hard once we’d reached the safety of the driveway. Then Kelli went back to investigate and convinced us that it was “only a June Bug” and to come back. Shelli was hesitant and swore that the “wings” on it felt much larger. It had landed right on her hand causing her to do that pretty dance and smash the glass. So, just as we’d been convinced to come back in, that the coast was clear and that it was only a “June Bug”, the “flying” cock roach flew right at us and we were once again 3 grown women scattering and running for safety. I didn’t know I could still move that fast. Kelli, please get your eyes checked. My roach radar rarely fails me!