Wednesday, September 06, 2006

The Grocery Store/Hell

I absolutely loathe grocery shopping. Not that anyone asked, but I felt compelled to share that tidbit of information. Luckily, my husband does the majority of our shopping, or we’ll often go together. Otherwise, we might starve.

Every time I step foot inside of a grocery store I remember why I hate shopping. It never fails that I will get stuck with a slow person that I can't seem to shake. You know, the one person who is on the first or second aisle that you start on, and they're right in your way, so you sort of mill around waiting on them to move so you can grab your item and they sort of scoot along like a turtle then you finally manage to maneuver your way around them and think you're finally in the clear, but the next thing you know they seem to be following you. You just can't shake them. You might get a reprieve for a row or two and think you’ve put enough space between you and them only to turn around and see they are again blocking you from your item or making your attempt to get down the aisle almost impossible.

I stopped by the store on my way home from work tonight to get a few things. The tables seemed to be turned and I found myself being the one in someone's way for a change. It was really strange to be on the reverse end, especially to an elderly woman. On several occasions I feared this eighty plus year old woman might plow me right over. She was moving so fast I tucked my rear end in every time I heard her coming for fear that I might lose my backside. I think this little old lady was on speed cause I’ve never seen anyone her age move that fast, especially in the grocery store.

Personally, I think they should have little tables set up like they do when they're passing out samples of a product, but instead of food and drinks they should pass out Valium in various forms. It could change the whole dynamics of the grocery shopping experience. Can you imagine how nice and relaxed everyone would be? If they were to do that I know I would be willing to go much more often, if not every day and my husband would just love that.

13 comments:

Ronni said...

The grocery store is on Jim's way home from work, so I have been off the hook, recently.

Carri said...

You gotta love that!

prestonsgirl said...

ok, so i'm laughing OUT loud agian, literally.. thanx! <3

prestonsgirl said...

btw.. i'm trying to blog agian.. check me out sometime. call me too. <3jen

Paul said...

Carri!..It's about time you wrote something! (I'm easily spoiled)..Oh, by the way..when yall comin out to 'dogpatch' We was hopin you would get here before the front porch collapes and we have to pull you up with a rope. Ps. don't forget to bring the silverware and paper goods if you don't like plastic and styrofoam. Also let me know a day ahead so I can check the traps.

Carri said...

Paul,
I was held hostage by much needed housework over the long weekend and grounded myself from the blog. Plus, I've had nothing to write about.

I'll email you about a visit. You're so funny.

Paul said...

Ok kid..your good to go. looking forward to youalls visit..uh...don't forget to bring beer and bail money. ...The EPA has been nosing around my under my porch where i've been pouring all my used motor oil... The beer?? thats to keep youall entertained until I can be bailed out of jail..I think you think it's past my bedtime...I think your right..g-night

Paul said...

Oh Carri' one more thing, don't forget to bring the duck..I'm sure it will go good with whatever's in the traps..

In order to become a more responsible citizen of Mother Earth I'm also looking at a recipe to recycle my old motor oil by using it as a marinade. Hence the duck.

As to Ronni's question I say if your dead duck "benefactors" are 'real' white trash it was definitely food.

If will asauge your tender conscience though, send them the duck with dressing anonymously when we are through marinading and smoking it. (just in the "rare" instance I'm wrong you may 'also' want to tuck a condolence card under one of its little wings so you can cover all your bases..

Who knows..if they are real white trash they may even hire a detective to look you up just so they can thank you and get the recipe for the marinade...I know Carri--it's really past my bedtime.

Carri said...

Paul,
Your son wanted me to ask if you were drinking last night. :)

Kelli said...

Carri, your blog and comments crack me up! I hate the grocery store too.

Paul said...

Crrari..you know i don't think!..I mena drink.....

teresa said...

I must be weird. I love the grocery store. I could stay for hours. It's my peace & quiet away from my husband & kid.

Carri said...

Teresa,
It must be HELL at home!!