Monday, September 18, 2006

Coffee, Anyone?

My husband and I drink coffee every morning when we get up. The only exception to that rule is if we sleep really late on the weekends, but even then it’s rare that we don't drink it whenever we get up. He usually makes it on the weekends but I somehow got stuck with being the official coffee maker during the week. I always prepare it the night before and set the timer for it to brew before we get up in the morning. Our morning ritual consists of us drinking our coffee while watching the local news in between waking the kids for school and then getting ourselves ready.

Last night, as I was doing my "before bedtime routine", I decided that I'd just skip coffee today knowing that my husband had taken the day off from work and would be sleeping late today. I thought I'd take full advantage of the fact that he wouldn’t be nudging me to get up if I hit snooze two or three times and sleep a little later than normal. So, I crawled out of bed this morning half asleep and rushed around like a mad woman trying to get out of here on time, semi-regretting my decision to pass on the coffee.

It was a brutal morning at work without my normal dose of caffeine to keep me going. I could hardly keep from nodding off right there at my desk. I work for a very small company and we don't even have coffee at work. Can you believe that? It’s the only place I’ve ever worked where there's not coffee brewing all day long or it wouldn’t have been a big deal. We do have a coffee shop across the street that comes in handy for times like these, but it was raining today and I just wasn't willing to venture out into the rain so I just toughed it out.

As I was leaving for lunch today I called my husband to check on the status of his day and during our conversation I mentioned how tired I'd been all morning since I'd chosen to skip my morning coffee. He got very upset and asked what I meant by that so I explained myself. He went on to tell me that he’d gotten up and poured himself a cup of coffee from the pot and heated it up in the microwave. Our coffee pot sits in an out of the way spot on the counter and is sort of "out of sight, out of mind". I'm usually the only one in the house who empties and/or washes it, so it's not unusual for it to sit there with a little bit of leftover coffee in it until it's time to make the next pot. We were discussing how old the coffee must've been as he tried not to puke during our conversation. He said he had looked it over and even smelled it before pouring himself a cup and that he really thought it was leftover from earlier this morning. We decided it must've been from yesterday and he was totally grossed out to think that he'd enjoyed a cup of twenty-four-hour old coffee. We both laughed, in between him gagging and hung up. I thought about it some more after that and just had to call him back after I specifically remembered that this was an unusual weekend for us because we didn't have coffee on Saturday or Sunday. He'd actually enjoyed a cup of Friday’s coffee on this Monday morning! Upon hearing this news he suddenly felt sick and asked me to go look inside at the filter to see if there was any mold growing on the coffee grounds. (And no, there wasn't!)

I guess if I were a really good wife I would've just let him keep thinking it was only twenty-four-hour old coffee rather than seventy-two-hour old coffee. Not!


Paul said...

Carri ..that was nothing compared to the coffee I used to drink when I worked for Slaughter Bro. in Stafford Tx..

It all started one day when day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, the office coffee pot started to run slower and sloweeer and then ..and then...oh man, it,'s just to awful to tell so maybe I just better skip would be just too much, well you know what I mean. ..and I'm not kidding, it-was--baaad!

Carri said...

What, like week old coffee, Paul??? Well, you're still with us so apparently it didn't kill you and I'm glad for that!

Les took the kids to Waffle House for breaksfast on Saturday while I snoozed in and Sunday we were total bums! It was definitely Friday coffee but he said it tasted just fine. That's scary! Bahahahaha!

Anonymous said...

Just fine! LOL, that's what my husband would think too -- I mean, what's to rot? Some suspended caffeine molecules in water -- you zap it, and it's all good :-). I'm more the connoiseur in our family. It's Starbucks French Roast (ground for a paper filter) or I am slumming. Which I do, on occasion. This week, for example, I did not make it to a Starbucks purveyor, so I am stuck with supermarket "Gold Coast" variety. I haven't died yet, just to report.

Another thing I want to mention about work-time coffee. My workplace has this coffee secretion machine that makes the most vile brew on the planet. For about $29, including shipping, I got a single-brew machine that accepts both filters and pods. It's on my desk, and when I want a coffee jolt -- I get it but good.

Weekends are a different story. Normally (weekdays) I make the coffee since I'm up first. But he makes the coffee on weekends. I *always* drink what he makes out of principle. But then I sneak off for my cup of Starbucks... ahhhh

Carri -- I love your blog. You talk about thing (like coffee!) that everyone can relate to. And you do it in an amusing and non-pretentious way that is very engaging. Kudos! I hope to be a more frequent visitor here.

Anonymous said...

By the way, great picture of you and dh :-)

Paul said...

Nooo Carri wasn't "old" coffee. It was much, much worse.. You really don't want to know. It would give you nightmares about ever using any drip type coffee maker ever again.

You could make a horror movie with it as the central theme. Besides because I am so 'sensitive' I wouldn't want to make you or any of your blog friends paranoid about it .. So I can't tell you. (besides you didn't ask)

Ps...The coffee actually tasted pretty good--taste wasn't the problem and.. uh..oh yeah' don't let your imagination run away with you on this..

Sweet dreams'

teresa said...

Gross! I'm not a coffee drinker & I am so glad after this story! I'm glad there wasn't mold on the filter! I feel sick just thinking about it!

Carri said...

My imagination has gone wild. I ran my theory by your son and he thinks I might be on to the real truth. I shudder to think but am envisioning a dead rodent stuck/trapped in the machine, blocking the proper amount of brewing.............and I'm just SICK!
Am I close??????
Thank you for your kind post. Hope to hear from you again sometime!

Paul said...

No it wasn't a rodent but..Well..since you insist, I'll give you a clue. On top of the coffe maker there was a square plastic grid with little square holes in it so you could pour the water directly through it without raising it--It was not designed to be raised and had to be 'pried' with a knife to open it..and we had no reason to, until the coffee started coming out so darn slow.

but I digress so lets get to the meat of the subject--actually there was 'no' meat, but Caden is on the right track. but his critter has only four legs and whiskers but this mysterious critter whom I will not identify (due to your and others 'sensitivities) has about eight legs and antennae and a lovely toasty brown color--to sum it up it was worse than that old cliche about "opening" up a can of w---s (I hope your still with me--take a deep breath)

I can say no more for fear of giving it away and upsetting sensitive tummies. And besides like I said..the coffee was really quite good--until we found out.

I was so traumatized I wrote a 'poem' about it as part of my own personal therapy for gaining control over my 'irrational' fear of this unamed critter-- when I feel up to it I'll write it in your blog---all the grandkids love it...ask them? Love youallgrandpaPaul

teresa said...

We want to see the poem!

prestonsgirl said...

that's sick Paul! <3

Kelli said...

I am still laughing when you told me this story about the "Friday" coffee!!! hahahahah

Sixteen Sister's husband - I guess your relieved there was no mold floating on the top!! hahahahah Ewww!

Paul said...

Sorry Preston girl--thats what I was afraid of "sensitive tummies" thats why I held back so much info. I do hope you have recovered.

Carri has a major phobia about these critters, (I won't use the real word as I don't want to further upset anyone)-- especially the 'hissing' variety when she was in Hawaii, I hope she doesn't think I was playing on that (ha). Really Carri, are they worse than mice??

Paul said...

Ok Teresa, since your the only one that asked, your the only one that gets to read it... and of course I claim copywrite on my oh so sensitive little gem of a dissertation expressed in a classy rhyming format on the national bug. Well enough of the intro- Here goes--

The great C--k R---h war has just begun/

I've got my club and double barrel shotgun/

some dynamite and a can of mace/

will put those little b-------s in their place/

The first assault went so well/

I filled nearly ever crack in C.R. hell/

legs and antenae flew everywhere/

there screams in the night were almost more than I could bear/

but,, "war is hell" so why should I care/

Pass the dynamite, I smell victory in the air!!

C-1995 paul lebedzinski

I know that this has probable brought a tear of compassion to your eye Teresa,(me too) but this too will pass, life goes on. Right?

Carri said...

Why are you wasting your talent writing about those nasty things????
That was awesome. I'll be up all night!

teresa said...

Bbaahhh! Bbaahhh!! I am totally cracking up! I love it, Paul! Carri loves BIG, FLYING COCKROACHES! When we were kids if there was a cockroach around, it would find Carri! Not just find her, but fly at her, shoot at her, rat her hair, whatever! It was war! You should publish your poem and dedicate it to Carri!!!
Carri - the cockroaches in Georgia don't fly! You should move here!!

Carri said...

She is so telling the truth. I swear, I think they are attracted to me and are out to get me.

paul said...

Carri, I did everthing I possibly could to avoid using that awful word--COCKROACH!! 'COCKROACH!!! COCKROACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but now that it's "out of the bag" or "flying through the air" so to speak more precisely, all I can do is apologize....

By the way Les's blog is really good--he's coming after you, a rising star. He's going to change these blog sites from a Matriachaly dominated sites to Patriarchaly dominated sites.

Paul said...

Thanks for the com(pli)ment on the poem Carri and Teresa. If I ever publish it I will definitely dedicate it to Carri

It's funny, I have all these serious and syrupy poems--but the one the grandkids love the best is the c---k R---h one

Teresa...I've got one about getting rid of a mouse but you "really" don't want to hear that one--besides PETA might have me arrested

I could write some of my seriouss ones but I'm afraid I might pass for a serious person and I'm not--unless I run out of donuts and coffee..

teresa said...

Paul - Do you have one about getting rid of a BIG, FAT, BABY HUSBAND?!?!? Bahaha! (I love you, Jason! You're just so easy!)
Give it up Paul! We have to hear about the mouse.
I have one... There once was a man from Nantucket.....Hahahaha

Kelli said...

Carri's loves cockroaches, especially when they are in your garage and they fly!!! LOL ;)

Paul said...

Teresa your so baaaaad ..I think I already know the ones about the man from Nantucket does'nt it rhyme with something like "BUCKET"

Teresa!..You are so full of mischief--Your poor husband--I bet he sleeps with one eye open" (or he should)( I wrote a poem about that too as 'I' used to sleep with one eye open)

Ok Teresa I'll go with the mouse one on one condition-- "CARRI" and "PRESTONSGIRL are not to read it unless they have their eyes closed as they are waaay too sensitive.
And Kelli!!-- you sound like you can be a bit of a trouble maker, and thats good, so your on the (secret) "mischevious" list with us, so come on board..

This 'mouse' poem even moves me a bit when I'm in a sentimental mood. (at christmas time--I think of the litte mouse orphans))

I hope PETA or the VEGANS--of "friends don't eat friends" organizations, are not monitoring this blogg..I may need some bail money.
It was inspired by my 'childhood' (yes, prestonsgirl, I had a childhood) version of the three blind mice. Here tis!

There once was a mouse
That was destroying my house
So I chopped off his head
And now he is....d.e.a.d.
But! had I chopped off his legs
Instead of his head
I would not feel like a murdering louse
For killing that poor mouse
But! he'd now be rolling about my house like a sausage with a head/
so... all and all, I'm quite glad he's dead.
But.. the next time I think, I'll call the exterminator instead
And that should put, this dreadful moral dilema to bed!!

Ps: quality disclaimer: there is only so much you can do with a mouse as their is not as much angst and passion about mice as there is about C--k r---hes

prestonsgirl said...

That was really cute about the mouse....
but yes, the C--k R---h story had me sick!!! Your great writing skills and that gross story sent me straight out of the computer room!!! :o) Oh and let's go back to just not saying the word outloud! <3 jen

p.s. when are u going to create a blog Paul.. I think your time is coming!

teresa said...

Yes, Paul! You need your own blog. You could call it:! Bahahahaa!
I can't get into Lauren's blog. Am I doing something wrong???

Carri said...

OMG, Teresa, I almost fell out of bed on that one about Paul's blog and its name. Bahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!
Too funny. And you can get one and call it thetruthaboutsixteensistersbest

I think Lauren deleted it or is restructuring it.........I can't get in either and she said she might just stick w/ her My Space.

teresa said...

Has Paul seen his new blog name yet?
and yes Carri, I can call mine:

Paul said...

Oh wow!! what a name, its even longer than mine--Blogg??..hmmmm I'm tooo technically challenged for that one, but Mark, Les's younger bro. is comming home soon from the beach (Kandahar)and maybe he can 'speel' it out for me.

Ok Prestonsgirl--no mo c.r.!! (How do you feel about snakes??--just asking,,,no reason) thanks for your kind words though under such "trying" conditions..and Teresa, again, you are so full of mischief,you are so baaaad. Does Jason have a counselor?? Maybe we can form a support group, as you can tell I need one too.

I'm sure we have all noticed Lauren is also a great communicator, Famous mother? father? and daughter? and who know's son? and another daughter? this is going to be very interesting in the short and long term if they all --go for it!--now the only mystery is and will be, did they get it from Les or Carri?? Nooo Carri you can't vote on that one, Les and me get a handicap vote on that of lets see ..5 is a good number..
(the fix is in) we win!!

By the way is "Tee Dee's" name a contraction of "tum tee dee dum"??

Please Say a prayer for Marks safe trip out of there please, and for all our guys and gals that are doing such a great job in spite of the negative moron's over here who claim to speak for them--they Don't!!

...Mark said he is glad he is finally getting to do what he was trained to do. His E-mails and news letters show the moral of virtually all the troops is high, and the progress is very gratifying..These are the best guys and gals and they are not "weiners" or "whiners" like some folks over here in their little comfy homes and offices undercutting them while claiming they are supporting them "Jerks--and worse. If they really have the guts and care and they want to talk all this negative crap, go over there with our guys and gals on the front line then spout off, --If the enemy doesn't kill you our guys and gals will--

Human shield volunteers to protect the Iraqi children?? where in the hell are they now?? Cowards and Phoneys--all!!!!

I'm going over to visit Les's blog and see what kind of trouble he's gotten into--then I'm going to see if I can get into Lauren's. I could'leave a comment but I was able to read it last time.